Are you The Lucky One?

Last night I snuggled up on Craig’s shoulder to watch the movie ‘The Lucky One’, based on the Nicholas Sparks novel (author of The Notebook).

The beginning of the movie started with the following, which really spoke to me:

“The smallest thing can change your life. In the blink of an eye, something happens by chance, when you least expect it. It sets you on a course that you never planned, into a future you never imagined. Where will it take you? That’s the journey of our lives.”

It makes me think a little about our journey to being here in the UK. Packing up and moving away from a life that was working well for us, to the other side of the world, seems completely crazy if I actually stop and think about it. Craig had a job with a family-run company with family values, that paid well and afforded him some flexibility. I had an amazing network of friends, and we had both become integral parts of our community. Fuel Your Family was developing a strong local following, with two sold out live events at ASB Arena, BayPark. The kids were happy, and we had a great professional support network around our third child, who had been under pediatrician care since she was 11 weeks old. We had recently been enjoying our rough authentic beach bach, and the weekend escapes from reality it provided!

Jumping into the unknown has been daunting, exciting, challenging, isolating, connecting, and that is just the start! But we are doing it. And mostly we are loving it. We are following the journey that feels right, and learning to navigate the wavering path it is taking us on. We are open to changes in that course when we least expect it.

The key for us is to continually touch base with each other on where we are at. Reminding ourselves of and refining our shared vision for the use of this time travelling. Making decisions based on remaining authentic to that vision. The occasional decision that has been made due to other’s expectations without really checking it aligned with OUR vision, have left us feeling a little uneasy. It is normal to have these feelings along the way. I personally believe it is important to allow myself to feel it all, and acknowledge that it is okay to feel whatever I am feeling – not that it makes it any easier when you are in the middle of those emotions!

Making decisions based on your vision and being authentic to yourself is not always easy if they don’t align with societies norms. However if they work for you and your family, and they align with what matters most to you, then just do it I say!

A prime example for us recently is related to Craig’s employment. He accepted a job when we were still in New Zealand, that seemed like it would work well at the time. Two days before leaving New Zealand Craig received word that due to a corporate restructure the team he was to be working in had been disbanded. We negotiated a new job at the same salary as the unconditional offer that had been made, but the details were left hazy. On arrival in the UK it was discovered that the job was now based quite some distance away in Wales, and that the expectation was that Craig would stay away during the week. While arrangements like this absolutely work for many families, this was so far away from what is important to us, and how we function as a family. It was especially hard as I broke the scaphoid bone in my wrist the day before Craig started said job! After 3 1/2 weeks in the job, Craig resigned.

Society norms would say you don’t resign from a job before you have a new one – but we decided as a team that the toll the job was taking on all of us was not worth it. There is some tension caused by our temporary tighter financial position, but the time that we got as a family during the final stage of the summer break, and the ability to transition the children into school together was worth its weight in gold. I believe that the way the children approached and handled new schools in a new country, knowing no-one, was in part attributed to the calm and connected family life happening alongside.  Making the decision to resign brought us both a sense of calm – a feeling of having made the best call for us.   And you know what – Craig now has an exciting job, based 20 minutes down the road from home, meaning we still get to enjoy a family dinner almost every night!

As a mummy, it is of course normal to worry about the kids.  Are we doing the right thing by them on this adventure?  How will they cope with all the change?  But you know what?  They are loving school – thriving with their learning.  They are forming friendships easily.  They are so resilient.  And they are loving our adventures:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(day trip into London, and one of the only wet days we have had so far exploring the Gruffalo trail in nearby Salcey Forest)

As a wife, I worry about Craig.  But he is loving his new job, loving his connection time with the kids, and excited about the future.

 

 

 

 

 

 

As a business owner I worried about what the move would mean for Fuel Your Family.  But business is thriving and growing!  The move encouraged me to branch out into other ways of connecting with the amazing people I work with, and pushed me a little out of my comfort zone into using technology such as webinars.  I really have a business that is location independent – something I never could have imagined before!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Away for a weekend with friends from when we lived in France in 2000/2001, who we had not seen since! This street in their city of Wells is the oldest continually occupied street in Europe.  On the Sunday morning I hosted a LIVE webinar for my fabulous Fuel 28 group from our friends study, then an hour later we were up the top of Glastonbury Tor!)

The hardest thing has been looking after me. I have tried to be everything for everyone. And I know it has helped, and it is part of why everyone is thriving.  But my mission for the next few weeks is be everything to myself too. It is important to let go of the belief that the world will fall apart without us holding everything together. The last 6 months catch up with me at times, sometimes tears are involved, and I recognise that now it is time to re-calibrate and bring true balance back into my own life. I started by doing the Autumn Seasonal Wholefoods Reboot last week – which as always has left me feeling clearer and more energised. While food is an integral part of health and wellness, there is so much more at play too. For me right now I know that I need to focus on more real connection time with my man, to align our goals and vision again as the path keeps changing, and some restorative actions for myself.

And to acknowledge that right now the kids are okay. Right now the best thing I can do for them is to have some focus on me, so that I am able to give them the best of me. And also to show them the value and importance of self. That looking after yourself is not being selfish. I want my children to value and respect themselves, and I believe that modelling that – along with sharing with them at age-appropriate levels difficulties that we come across and how we are consciously approaching them, what we learn from our mistakes and how we reflect to make better choices next time – we can teach our children some very important life lessons.

We create our own luck – the ‘lucky ones’ are those that are open to embracing what life sends their direction, being open to a destiny different to that they imagined, and recognising that sometimes to follow those dreams means you must pass through some tougher times.

The final words of the movie:

“Everyone has their own destiny.  Not everyone chooses to follow it.”

5 Steps to Becoming ‘The Lucky One’:

1. Get clear on what is important to you and your family – what are your values, what do you stand for?
2. Share your vision with those that are integral to your life, and notice where you align.
3. Make decisions based on how they align to your vision, not what you think is expected of you.  Be true to you!
4. Learn to listen to your intuition.  Ask yourself questions and listen to the first answer that pops into your head.  Notice how something makes you physically feel – listen to your ‘gut-feeling’.
5. Be open to life taking turns that you least expect…be ready to choose to follow your own destiny.