The Most Influential Person in my Wellbeing (+ My Top 5 Self-Care Tips)

This week has thrown up some challenges in several aspects of my life, all at the same time. In years gone past this would have taken more of a toll on me than it has now. Although I admit to feeling dog-tired right now, I am about to turn all technology off and head to the shower, then snuggle up with my amazing husband. And yes it isn’t even 8pm but I know what I need!

I have so many amazing people in my life right now that give me the ability to overcome any challenge (yes thank you those special friends and my lovely mum for helping with the kids this week, those that have offered support when they could see I needed it without needing to pry as to why, and those that just are so lovely to spend time with it is uplifting).

The biggest realisation I have come to however, is that the person who has the biggest ability to help me out is MYSELF! This is a more recent realisation for me. The things I have learnt through my life to-date, and my fabulous training at Institute for Integrative Nutrition, have taught me so much about my own ability to control my thoughts, my reactions to stress, and my whole view on life. I now have so many strategies to calm the mind, which means my sleep has been largely unaffected, and I have paid particular attention to foods that nourish the body and soul. It was also a week to pay close attention to self-care techniques and just take time for me when I could, without allowing myself to feel guilty for that.

I really do have a full arsenal of strategies, but today I am going to share my favourites of the week.

TOP 5 SELF-CARE TIPS:

1. Breathe.

Yes it sounds simple, and yes we are all breathing…but are you really breathing.  Deep, restoring, calming breaths?  This is a technique you can use wherever you are, any time of day or night, and regardless of the little ones running around your feet.  And the best thing is it seems the more you practice restorative breathing techniques  the more powerful the calming effects.  Practice this twice a day, and then use it whenever you feel you need a deeper sense of calm.

Start by relaxing, especially your shoulders and jaw.  Let the tip your tongue rest gently on the roof of your mouth behind your top teeth.  Keep your mouth closed, but relaxed.  Then: breathe in for 4 seconds (filling your lungs, expanding your abdomen), hold for 7 seconds, and breath out for 8 seconds.  Repeat 5 times.

This is a great technique when you are having trouble getting to sleep.  For more breathing exercises you could start here.

2. Meditate

Meditation is daunting for those that haven’t tried it before, and something I am only recently re-acquainting myself with.   It is good practice to make this a regular part of your day, but unlike restorative breathing it is a bit trickier to do around the kids.  You don’t need a long time to get benefit though, so if you prioritise it as something to do when the little ones are sleeping/resting you should be able to make it a regular habit.

If meditation is new to you, you may like to consider guided meditation tools.  There are many YouTube videos available for free you could use to help you, and smartphone apps.  We use a tool called Pzizz that my husband used once or twice everyday during his recovery from CFS, and still find it incredibly beneficial.  I aim for 20 minutes a day.

3. Move

Exercise has many benefits for our whole bodies, and in times of high stress it is very important to continue exercising.  However it is wise to listen to your body attentively during this period, and adjust your exercise accordingly, being careful to not do too much.  Walking is great: if you have been over-exercising it encourages you to slow down, and if you are new to exercise it is an appropriate way to speed up. Walking is a great form of restorative exercise, along with yoga (which I know I need to get into) and interval training in short bursts with built-in rest/recovery time.  These types of exercise are fatigue-fighting, and energy-boosting.  Read a little more about restorative exercise here.

4. Positivity

Surround yourself with positive people.  Read positive blogs.  Watch positive movies.  Switch off the news.  Find quotes that speak to you.

Every day we are surrounded by many people.  Some of these people are such a joy to be around, their presence helps you feel loved, nurtured and uplifted.  Others can have the opposite effect, draining us of energy, and making us feel tired and exhausted.  In times of greater stress our wellbeing is more easily influenced by those around us, so pay attention to how people influence the way you feel.  In the words of Plato “people are like dirt. They can either nourish you and help you grow as a person, or they can stunt your growth and make you wilt and die”.

Surround yourself with people who believe in you, nurture you, love you, lift you higher, genuinely care for you and make you laugh.  And allow yourself to feel very blessed to have those people in your life!

5. Allow yourself to feel what you are feeling

…and allow yourself to move on from that feeling.  What you resist, persists.  So let yourself feel the anger, the hurt, the confusion, the fear. Allow yourself to feel down, really down.  Allowing yourself to feel allows you to heal.  Many of us were given phrases such as “there there don’t cry” when we were younger, but expressing our emotions should not be considered a weakness.  If we don’t allow ourselves to express our feelings, they tend to gather up and wait for an opportunity to explode.  You don’t need to believe everything you think, focus on what you feel.

I find it useful to analyse my physical feelings.  What am I feeling in my body? Do I have a tight chest? Is my stomach churning? Is my forehead tense? Often just acknowledging these feelings helps.  The same goes with emotions.  There is benefit to be had by allowing ourselves to feel what we feel – whether these are positive or negative.  Be aware of your feelings, then let them go.

 

Some of my favourite self-care quotes:

• “Self-care is never a selfish act – it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to share with others.” Parker Palmer
• “I have come to believe that caring for myself is not self-indulgent.  Caring for myself is an act of survival.” Audre Lourde
• “Self-care is a crucial example for your kids about the relationship between taking care of yourself and being able to take care of others.” Christine Koh

Love Bron x